Nibbling a bit at Darlanis' breakfast, I ventured, "Considering all that has happened, perhaps it is time you considered getting some sort of a peace treaty signed between your mother and yourself." Darlanis immediately giving me a look that told me without asking that I had just said something SHE DIDN'T LIKE AT ALL! The HATE in those lovely azure eyes terrifying to see!
"My brother raped me when I was fifteen," she answered in icy cold level tones. "He took my VIRGINITY from me!" The tone of her voice leaving no doubt in my mind the fury she still felt! "I was just an INNOCENT YOUNG GIRL! I didn't KNOW anything about such things!" she snapped angrily. "THEN MY OWN MOTHER TOLD ME THAT I WAS A `LYING SLUT' FOR SAYING SUCH A THING ABOUT HER OWN SON!". I saw the tears in her eyes then as she wept, "MY OWN MOTHER STOOD THERE AND SLAPPED MY FACE, saying that it would have been better IF I HAD BEEN DROWNED AT BIRTH like an unwanted kitten or puppy!" Darlanis sobbed, her voice filled with burning hatred for something that had occurred years and years ago. "Only Janis ever believed me, saying that my brother was just the sort who might do something like THAT to me!" she sobbed, her voice filled with a burning hatred that I knew would live as long as he was alive! I did not dare venture to ask how Darlanis knew it was him, suspecting that I had already gone far enough if I valued keeping my head just then from the look there on her face! I recalled that Janis had once told me that their father had died in battle when Darlanis was just a little girl. Perhaps had he lived things would have been different than they were. One always "wonders" about such things. What "could" have been?
Knowing it was time to change the subject, I said to the beautiful golden haired Empress, "We sure walked into it last night, didn't we?" Giving her a smile of understanding, knowing that her courage and bravery had inspired us all. Then adding with an understanding smile, "I guess even an experienced Warrioress like you can make mistakes at times." Thinking of the unexpected crossbowmen. It was then that I noticed that Darlanis was regarding me as if I was speaking in another language than hers!
"I don't quite understand what you mean," Darlanis answered in a puzzled voice, looking up at me, shifting her position beneath the bedclothes, the dark blue clinging silk of her nightshift going well with her coloring. The Empress having a beautiful skin and a lovely light golden tan that any woman would envy.
"Well," I answered, suddenly aware that Darlanis was eying me in a way that made me feel just a bit nervous again, "We didn't figure on those crossbowmen, but you handled things pretty good at that." Thinking of how she had fought. Remembering that deadly singing rapier of hers that even I wouldn't have cared to face! Then adding, "I was darn glad you were there at my side, because you knew what to do without thinking, and I was knew that we could depend upon a Warrioress like you to see us through."
"Let me tell you a secret, Lorraine," Darlanis answered after a moment's silent pause that made the blood chill in my veins. Saying then, reaching out and clasping my hand in hers, "And that is until last night I've never been in actual combat."*
* Darlanis has fought a number of sword duels in her life, but this was her first actual "combat experience" as such. Earlier she had merely sat on her unicorn and watched others "fight" for her in her various wars of conquest that she has waged for the past twenty years against one country or another. She is a woman "driven" by ambition, and although Sharon "worships" her, I do not view Darlanis in quite the "same light" as my stepdaughter! She can be a very "loving" woman, but also a very dangerous foe!
"What!" I breathed, unable to believe my ears, seeing her smile and nod in reply. It seemed so unbelievable considering her courage, her bravery. I thought of how she had climbed alone to the deck of the Ronda to face us all. Darlanis had "BALLS"! I suppose that really isn't the proper term, but it did fit her!
"Actually it was you that gave me the courage to face those crossbowmen," Darlanis answered. Her hand warm in mine and her beautiful azure eyes asking for my understanding and compassion.
"But I thought that you'd seen combat before," I replied. Thinking of how nervous and scared I had been and how comforting it had been to think that at least one of us knew what they were doing! Her courage and bravery had inspired us all, I knew too.
"No, Lorraine," Darlanis answered with a smile. "And all the time I was so scared and terrified that all I could think of was to stick with you because you looked like you knew what you were doing." Her words coming out in a rush as she clung to my hand. Her breakfast forgotten there before her on the tray. I had to smile at the thought. Neither of us had known the truth!
"Why did you go anyway?" I asked, having asked her that question before. Remembering her answer. I understood now what sort of a woman she was. Why I, like others, would follow her to the Gates of Hell themselves should she wish to lead us there! I knew now that my heart, my sword, were hers to command forever!*
* It is perhaps Darlanis' own personality that makes her what she is. She is a very "likable" person, one you "admire" despite yourself. Even those who have hated her, like my friend Sanda, tell me that it is awful hard not to "like" Darlanis in person!
"Why did you go?" she asked me back with a smile. I had gone because she had gone. I told her that. It seemed to please her. I knew she liked me. I knew I loved her. I worshiped her!
"I still can't get out of my mind the thought of you standing there on the deck of the Ronda," I said to her as she nibbled at a bit of her now cold breakfast. She had been DARLANIS, THE EMPRESS OF IMPERIAL CALIFORNIA! Like something out of some fantasy. Not a real woman, but something like "She-Ra" there on TV. That cartoon character that Sharon had loved so much back "home". And Darlanis did look a lot like "She-Ra" in a way, I thought...
"I knew that Janis wouldn't let me come to any harm," she smiled. She hadn't planned on Sharon, of course. I wondered how she knew that Janis had been aboard the Ronda. Darlanis merely smiled when I asked her and said that she had her "own sources of information". Saying that she had planned to intercept the Ronda and rescue her sister before I did the job for her! That explained much that I had been puzzled about since I first saw her.
What is the meaning of courage? What do we mean when we say that a certain person, perhaps a Warrioress friend, has "courage"? Courage is defined by the Caste Codes as "The willingness to engage the enemy in close combat despite whatever fears you may have for your own personal safety." I guess that is just about as good a definition of courage as I can think of. I have written this short chapter so that you might understand better what I and my caste sisters are like. And perhaps to explain something that even Janis had not ever mentioned to me! I understand now the hatred that burns in Darlanis. And why she was so willing to carry on with a war against Dularn that she could never win! Why there is so much "hatred" burning in her own heart!
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